New Directions
by madiisnotahipster
Summary: OFFICIALLY ABANDONED. SORRY. IF YOU'D LIKE TO ADOPT IT, PLEASE DO.
1. Chapter 1

*** Hey! Its madam Goldsworthy and this is my second fanfic. It takes place after break and I wanted to post it before the episode came on! Even though I haven't finished the other fanfic, I m still posting this and please comment but this is my story so no ideas, tell me if you liked it or not cause you guys are why I write and I love feedback. Yes, if you have actually read my profile, you would no that this was written in a hello kitty notebook that I designed myself! But it's amazing and I want to continue writing in it, so please give me reason to. Reviews are greatly appreciated! Luv, madam Goldsworthy!***

ELI'S POV

"Clare!" I yelled down the hall. "Clare! Come back!" I couldn't deny I missed her. I hate when we ignore each other. She turned around and I ran the few yards to her. There were bags under her beautiful blue eyes. Did she lose sleep because of me? I hoped she didn't. I looked into her eyes and saw hurt. Ouch. Her eyes threw me daggers that landed in my heart.

CLARE'S POV

"What do you want, Eli?" I let the hurt and anger dwell in my voice. If I let him see through it, I might end up hurt, like the countless times before. Every time I thought of him and breathed, it felt as though shards of glass were being slowly stabbed into my heart. It hurt so much. If anyone has gone through this, they knew that the day they cry themselves to sleep because they can not because they need to, is the day the heartbreak goes away. I have prayed with my hands folded and tears running down my cheeks onto my bed sheets and my hair. I prayed for the day I choose those tears, not for the day they just came. I am patient, so I haven't pushed Him to help. On my bedside table there is an alarm clock, a box of Puffs, hand sanitizer, and a rosary. I turned my back to Eli and started walking away.

"I want you, Clare!" Ouch, another piece of broken glass. I am glad I wasn't looking at his amazing green eyes, filled with hurt at the pain he sees in mine. Ouch. Shoot. I needed to be strong and keep moving, otherwise my eyes will be more bloodshot by tomorrow, and people will question. I need to fly under the radar. Ouch.

ELIS POV

I can't believe it would hurt like this. "Clare, please I need you! You are the only one, Clare, the only one!" I had to make her happy, to ease her pain. "I will do anything for you, Clare" I stopped in my tracks and lowered my voice. "So if you want me to leave you, I will, but that's not what I want." She stopped and turned around. Her eyes were bloodshot.

"I don't want that either" she said softly, "but I also don't want the heartbreak." I could hear and see all the hurt. I wanted to take her into my arms, take her someplace safe, tell her she is safe and beautiful, and kiss her until she believes me. I can't believe I started this. This is all my fault, just like Julia, I'm the one who over reacted with Fitz. The one who "deserved what ever Fitz did to me". Clare was right, but I also deserve this. Clare, however, has done nothing wrong, and doesn't deserve any of this.

"Come on, Clare, you can't do this," I pleaded. My voice caught on the last word.

"Oh, I can't! Yet you can go and risk your life because of one guy?" Clare was mad. I pulled her into a hug. She didn't hug back and that stung. I felt a drop of moisture on my t-shirt, right where her eyes were. She pulled away and I let her go.

"Why were you ignoring me, Eli?" she asked in a small voice. I was astonished. She was just yelling at me, and now she's crying. I hate to see her like this.

"I'm not the only one ignoring people," I said in response. She hadn't made an effort to contact me during the entire break. I figured she didn't want to talk.

"I didn't think you wanted to hear from me, I'm nothing special. And then when I came to school I got bad because I want you to be safe." She said this in a quiet voice. Without a complaint she let me take her hand and lead her to Morty where we sat together on his hood. Even though it was the end of school there were a lot of kids in the halls, and I thought this would be a better place to talk.

_Here goes nothing,_ I thought as I made my way out of the school with Clare In my hand.

CLARE'S POV

We sat in silence for a moment, watching the other teens in their solid color polo's make their way across campus. Eli broke the campus.

"I am sorry I risked both of you lives for something so stupid. It's… its just I can't let them win, Clare, I can't let the bullies win."

I surprised both of us by hugging him. He slid his arms across the hood to hook onto my waist. "Eli, they aren't worth it, you have to let go, otherwise 'us' won't work," I said into his shoulder.

"Ok,I will try as hard as possible as long as I can be with you" He hesitated before saying the next part, "I love you."

***Sorry for making it a cliff hanger! Tell me what you thought of it. I have an idea for the rest of it. Please don't make it a one timer! I need your reviews to get through the rest of writing it. That way I have a reason to keep writing. And profile viewing wouldn't hurt! Luv- madam Goldsworthy***


	2. Chapter 2

***AUTHORS NOTE- this is not at all like it really is in the new Degrassi but I like this ideatoo, sorry If you have the dame kind of thing in your story! I know how it feels, and I don't mean to copy you, I try to come up with my own ideas, but sometimes im not aware! Review if you have any comments or questions on this story! Thanks!***

**ELI'S POV**

"Eli, I love you too," she said, her eyes filled with tears.

"Why are you crying?" I asked.

"I'm happy," she responded. I leaned in and kissed away the tears, she smiled and pulled closer. We were kissing on the hood of my car until Adam comes and says, "Get a room." We pulled away and the blush was evident on Clare's face. I smirked and said, "That's a good idea," I looked at Clare and continued, "I'm kidding Clare, I would never do something you don't want to do," she smiled and kissed me lightly on the lips.

"Eli, I have something to tell you," Clare said. Oh, gosh, I hope she doesn't have a new boyfriend or something.

"You can tell me anything, babe." When I said that, she cried. "Don't cry. Don't cry!" it hurts to watch her cry. She shouldn't have need to. I put my arm around her. "Is there someone's ass I have to kick?" I could easily, if that's what it takes to make her stop crying.

"No, Eli, it's just that, I'm moving."

***don't hate me for the cliff hanger! I don't know about the next chapter, if I get ten reviews I will post the rest by Tuesday. I have show choir choreography Sat, Sun, Mon, and Tues, so I will try to write it along with the homework I have. I also know this chapter is short and I'm sorry. Love, always, Madam Goldsworthy***


	3. Chapter 3

*******HEY! Sorry it's been a while since I posted, but I just got out of my writers block (and I only got 2 reviews when I was looking for 10, well, your loss! I gots the perfect idea! Jk, well not really. Love – me!***

CLARES POV

"Clare, you can't go!" Eli was trying to persuade me, but I can't let it get to me. I had to start fresh. Even if I didn't want to. They say if you love something, let it go.

"Clare, don't be like Edward! Come on! I don't want you to leave, I will wait for you." They also say if it comes back to you it was meant to be. But (there is always a "but") if it doesn't it wasn't meant to be.

"Eli, I love you, but I have to, just to see what it's like, if I can't be with out Degrassi and it's people, I will try as hard as possible to come back here." I didn't like this move either, but it's already arranged to happen.

"Why are you moving?"

"My mom and dad are getting a divorce and want to move away from here 'too many memories' my mom said." Eli pulled me into a hug. I was all cried out though.

"I'm sorry, Clare. Where are you moving?" He pulled away from the hug. I took both his hands in mine.

"Montreal, Quebec." He frowned, but probably thought for worse, like Mexico or the U.S. At least it's still in Canada.

"Ok, when are you leaving?" Oh, gosh. Here comes the heartbreaker. I looked down at our interlaced fingers.

"In four days. I already told Principle Simpson. I just had to say my goodbyes." He pulled away and took a step away from me.

"I only get four days? Four days, Clare?"

"It's better than one!"

"Why does everything always fall apart right after everything seems fine!" Eli was loosing his temper.

"Us isn't over, Eli! We can just try long distance."

"I don't do long distance, Clare, it makes me paranoid."

"Don't let it! I thought you would have a little bit of faith and trust in me."

"I do trust you. I just don't trust the men that get to see a beautiful girl everyday in Montreal." He looked defeated but is laying down all his cards.

"Then I guess we will just have to be friends." I said it so quietly that I thought he didn't hear me, I hoped that was the case. One look at his face and you could tell he heard me loud and clear.

"Maybe that's for the better." Wow, de jà voué, I have heard this before. I hate this! I thought I could lean on him, have him support me!

"Fine," I mutter and walk away. I guess I will have to walk home. The only thing that kept me going was that he never called out to me, saying to have me understand. He just pulled out of the lot and kept going.

I guess everything is back to before.

ELI'S POV

Shock, that was the first thing that registered. She was mine; I couldn't let some other guy have her. SHE WAS MINE!

A bit of jealousy, I can admit, coursed it's way through me, then came the main meal, pain. The hurt covered every other emotion I even dared to have. I had just enough strength to not run to her and weep, just enough to get in my car and head the opposite direction.

***AUTHORS NOTE- ok so yeah, lots of drama, but I have this whole star-crossed lovers thing going on inside my head. Hey I have another idea! My sister's bday was the day before Halloween; do you want to give her a present? Just review, she gets super excited that her sister is getting stories posted and reviewed and loved! It would be super kind of you! Thanks for reading!**

**By the way, I do not own Degrassi, But I own this story! So don't copy it please! Thanks! Got lots of ideas coming this way! **

**Love-me!***


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N hey! Ok so I'm sorry I haven't been updating very recently, but I do have a life. (Although reading other fan fictions is really fun). I hope you like this one. This is very sad though, so if you don't like sad, then find my other fiction, Finding and Forgetting Love. It has more EClare mush and fluff! :) I hope you like this one though, because I have amazing ideas for the rest of it, it might reach 20 chapters. I have to have Clare move then the real drama begins! By the way, I do not own Coldplay, Eminem, Rihanna, or love the way you lie, talk, or fix you. They are really good songs and gave me inspiration. Look them up on YouTube or something. Read, review, enjoy.**

** CLARE'S POV**

_I'm sorry Eli. _I thought to myself. _I'm sorry you don't trust me. Sorry I'm not worth it. Sorry there are better people out there. Sorry you don't know how much it hurts. Sorry it hurts. Sorry I'm not perfect. Sorry I'm not perfect. Sorry I'm not perfect. _

My thoughts rang clear through my brain. They cut like a blade. I kicked off my ballet flats onto the spotless front mat. Running up the stairs I felt the fuzzy carpet warm beneath my feet. My legs found the stairs, swiftly sweeping across the floor to my room, with a newfound grace.

_Everything, everything, I'm leaving everything I love. _I had to find a way to stop the thoughts from hurting me more. _I surrender. _I will never stoop so low to start the self injury many teens begin when they are too young to be scared. It isn't worth it.

The comforter on my bed was soft and plush against my cheeks. _You aren't worth it, Clare. _I lay in bed looking at the towers of boxes that lay around my room. _Everything I love is getting lost. I'm moving, ditching, leaving. I hate this. I'm not worth it. _

"AAHH!" I screamed into my pillow. Eli doesn't want me. He yelled. _I don't want this. Don't need this. I just want Eli. _My memories wont help me now, I'm in too deep down. Way deep down. The tears fell effortlessly now, the thoughts that hurt slipped out my chapped lips. The sounds drifting to my ears made it more and more real. _Haven't I been through enough, Lord? Why me? Why now?_

With the same legs that had grace a few minuets ago new had a shaky way of moving. They weren't my legs; the CD player was just a few feet. The feet seemed like miles. Collapsing to the floor, I found Coldplay's X &Y CD and put it in. Talk.

_Oh, brother I can't, I can't get through. I'm trying hard to reach you because I don't know what to do. Oh, brother I can't believe it's true. I'm so scared about the future and I want to talk to you, oh, I want to talk to you. _

This was one of my favorite songs during break. It helped calm my rapid breathing. The shallow intakes turning to whole hearted exhales. The breathing helped. By the end of the song the hysterics were done, but the tears felt pressured, I wanted to cry, it made sure everything was real, that this wasn't a nightmare. My numb fingers searched the songs for Fix You, my crying song.

_When you try your best but you don't succeed. When you get what you want but not what you need. When you feel so tired but you can't sleep. Stuck in reverse. And the tears come streaming down your face. When you leave something you can't replace. When you love something but it goes to waste. Could it_ _be worse? Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones and I will try to fix you._

The tears came running down my cheek bones, over the smooth skin. The saltwater felt like clouds darkening, still lighting up my life. I will have to get used to the broken me.

**ELI'S POV**

Love the Way You Lie, Eminem Featuring Rihanna. One of my favorite songs, it makes me sad, yes I cry. Sometimes. But don't tell my dad, or Adam. They would make fun of me. I know I hurt her. I broke Clare's fragile heart. _You don't get a second chance, life is no Nintendo game._ The lyrics filled my head saying the notes over and over again.

It was so peaceful here. The clearing, right across from the cemetery. Notes blasted to the are-you-crazy? setting on my vintage stereo system, letting me soak. After this song, I will go visit Julia's grave for the last time. The last time I came here was the day before I talked to Clare about Julia's death. I had to make things up with Clare, but I promised I would update Jules on the situation. I promised I would tell her about what happens with Clare.

_You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe when you're with them you meet and neither one of you even know what hit 'em. Got that warm fuzzy feeling yeah them chills used to get 'em now you're getting sick of looking at 'em. You swore you've never hit 'em never do nothing to hurt 'em now you're in each other's face spewing venom and these words. So lost in the moments__when you're in 'em. It's the rage that took over it controls you both. So they say it's best to go your separate ways guess that they don't know ya cause today that was yesterday. Yesterday is over It's a different day sound like broken records playin' over but you promised her next time you'll show restraint you don't get another chance. Life is no Nintendo game but you lied again now you get to watch her leave out the window. Guess that's why they call it window pane._

Dirt clung for dear life to the bottom of my black shoes. I'm not a brand person so I couldn't tell you what they were. The sun shone on the newer tombstones as I walked the isle to meet death.

"Hey Julia, it's me. So, long time no see, well, I kinda lot her again. She is leaving, Clare. She is moving. But instead of being there for her, I shut down. I lost it, yelled at her. I don't do long distance, don't you know. I'm just happy that she didn't get run over like you did when I told you. I know, sorry I mentioned it.

"She is perfect. I knew you would want me to be happy and I finally was with Clare. But now she is going to move and I can't deal. I shut down. I love her to much to let her go.

"I can't tell you what it really is; I can only tell you what it feels like. I can't breath but I still fight while I can fight. I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate and right before I'm about to drown she resuscitates me.

"It's like 'wait where you going?' 'I'm leaving you' 'no you ain't come back'. Here we go again. It's so insane because when it's going good, it's going great. I'm superman with a wing in his back, she's Lois Lane. But when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed. I snap. I never stoop so low again. I guess I don't know my own strength.

"I love her Jules, I really do. Could you maybe help me? I still have all your stuff, but I don't thin you are coming back so I'm going to start going through it, even if it kills me. Maybe Clare will come back and move some of her stuff in. Julia, I'm not coming back here, but I won't forget. I have to go fix stuff with Clare. Goodbye."

The sun was just going down over the horizon. This was the only place my car didn't stick out like a sore thumb. It bends in. I have to fix this with Clare.

_Just gunna stand there and watch me burn, but that's all right because I like the way it hurts. Just gunna stand there and hear me cry, but that's all right because I love the way you lie. I love the way you lie._

**A/N so, how was it? I don't want to be a review beggar, but I want to know if you guys like it. Good, bad, terrible, terrific, pas mal? I would love to know if you guys have any segestions, I probably won't use them, but I want to know what you would like to see. love, madam Goldsworthy.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N hey you guys! So, I hope you like this; I totally have inspiration for this, a ton of it. I have the whole story line mapped out. So, read on….**

**CLA**RE'S POV

Sun, streaming through my blinds, I can see the dust mites flying through the air. The rays of sun brighten my attempt at darkening my room. _This is just great_, I thought to myself. I was hoping for rain, the only comfort I can find. I wanted to be able to watch the drops descending against the cold glass, the 'ping' of the moisture from the sky finding rest on the surface. I wanted to be able to just sit and think, about anything other then him. Instead, I just kept praying, the rosary from around my bear's neck was clutched safely between my long fingers. Fingers found the same pieced of plastic that they did long ago, like physical da jà voue.

I want to forgive him, I think I should, we really did love each other. I think we still do, what is it people call it when two people belong together? Soul mates? Yes, Eli and I are soul mates, I'm sure of it. Together forever.

No more crying, instead I pulled out my laptop from the top of a shower of boxes and emailed Darcy. Darcy won't get it for about two weeks, but I need to tell someone. I know she will understand. I told her everything that happened today.

It's been a long, long day, the sunbeams weren't visible anymore by the time I moved the mouse to the SEND button on the screen.

Blip! My volume screamed causing me to flinch. It was startling because it used to be so quiet. I had a new IM. eli-gold49: will you read if I explain or should I come over?

In the background I heart the rising of voices, probably over what goes where. clare-e23: come. That's all I wrote, I stepped out onto my front step to wait for the car to pull up.

**ELI'S POV**

One word, one word sent my heart into a freaking frenzy. She responded, saying 'come'. It was more like a wish than an annoyed answer to me. It was like she wanted me to show.

My keys, where are my stupid keys? There, on the counter, I grabbed my wallet and my cell phone and put them in my back pocket.

In the Hearse, I drove in the dark to Clare, I'm her knight in shining armor, at least I hoped. I pulled around the corner to see her staring up at the sky, trying to find the first star. Make a wish, Clare.

"Hey," I said through the window. Her ginger head of hair swished to reveal her eyes. Her beautiful blue eyes were outlined in slightly smudged mascara. The skin surrounding them was red and puffy.

My heart broke one again, seeing her eyes, like this, all sad, like they are at a loss. She was dressed in an oversized sweater and jeans with her ballet flats. Soul mates, we were meant to be.

"Hey," she says, her voice strong, but not guarded. "I want to be friends, at the least; I don't trust the girls at Degrassi like you don't trust the boys in my soon to be new town." Apparently she thought this through.

She kept going "I know we love each other. But, I think we can wait until one of us is moved out so we can move to the town the other is in."

"I agree, Clare, as long as you know I love you." She nodded.

"I should get to bed, it's been a long day." Clare smiled. "I love you, Eli, even if we are just friends." She leaned in through the window and kissed me on the cheek.

"I love you too, Clare. I really hopped I could fix this, I'm glad you still love me," I whispered in her ear. "Talk to you tomorrow?" She grinned and nodded, driving away was one of the hardest things I ever did. All I wanted to do was reassure her that she didn't need to cry, I would hold her until she fell asleep in my arms.

But, I will keep straight, I fixed things with a band aid and she will fully recover when she is ready, going back is like taking off the band aid and ripping at the wound. Even if we both wanted it, it would hurt both of us.

Who are you, Eli? Since when did you turn into such a big sap? Since Clare, but I don't care. I only have to wait till tomorrow. Tomorrow is infinite. I will talk to her for the rest of the tomorrows, what ever it takes.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! Ok, sorry for the late and lack of posting. I had the worst possible writers block, but I'm over it now. The party idea was brought to me by a reviewer named DreamDark. Thank you sooo much for helping me, I hope I did your idea justice!**

**CLARE'S POV**

"What is it, Clare?" my mother sighed as I knocked on the door frame of the kitchen.

"Um, is my going away party for tomorrow still in place?" I asked wearily. I had everything planned out. Alli would be in charge of food and games and she, Adam and Eli would be invited. All of it would be perfect.

"I don't know, Clare," my mom said rubbing her face with her hand. The divorce had been hard on her with the paper work and the stress weighing down on her fragile shoulders.

"But, I've been really good about this move, all my stuff is packed, I broke up with my boyfriend because of it. Please!" I begged.

"I guess, I am going out with Anne tomorrow night any ways, just a few friends, nothing crazy," giving in, my mother nodded and sipped her coffee.

xXx

Heading to school, I pedaled fast on my blue bike with my back pack sitting on my shoulders. It was getting too cold to use this method of transportation, so I knew this would be my last day of biking. Wonderful.

Parking my bike, I was Alli walking up the stone steps of Degrassi Community School. Calling to her, I noticed something wrong in the way she walked; like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.

"Hey, Clare," my defeated best friend said approaching me.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I questioned as I pulled her in for an embrace.

Alli told me how her parents saw her file and she suggested all girls' school. "This is my last day." Her voice broke at the end of her sentence.

"Oh, Alli."

"And you are leaving soon too," she cried out. "This is going to suck."

"Alli, I still have my cell phone, and I'm having a party tonight. You are invited as well as Adam and Eli."

"This was supposed to be the year everything changed for the better. I was going to be popular, forever remembered as Alli Bandari, the cool girl. Not Sav's little sister who is a slut," she said casually walking in her heels.

"Alli, you are not a slut! You are my best friend and I will always consider you that way. Now, come on, let's enjoy our last day at this marvelous school then we will go to a party. You can be in charge of games, my outfit, food, everything if you want," I softened up and gave her a hug.

"Thanks, Clare. Now, best friend, let's have a day we will never forget." We smiled for each other and navigated our ways through the halls of Degrassi.

xXx

"I heard from a sad Alli that Saint Clare is having a party," Eli said turning around to face me in English Class. Just like yesterday never happened, still the same flirtatious boy I grew to love.

"I heard that too," Adam interjected.

"It's true, eh?" my ex said. My smile gave me away.

Beginning to talk, "You are both invited to my place at four thirty tonight. Alli is in charge of games and food. Please come."

"Sure, I just have to check with my mom. She has been up Drew's ass about girls lately so I am now the good child. She will probably let me go," Adam said sensing the bit of tension with Eli and me.

"Anything for you, Blue Eyes, my parents love you." He would not give up.

"Ok, class, today, we will be working on talking about that little Shakespeare assignment we did a while ago. Get into your groups of three and start talking about what was happening and why," Ms. Daws told the class as she was walking the aisles.

Eli turned around to face me as Adam turned towards me too. Them both looking at me expectantly was freaking me out a bit.

"Um, well Juliet was pretending that she as dead, but Romeo was anticipating his new life with his lover," I started out.

"And as he saw her in the state she was in, he jumped to conclusions and so he kills himself by drinking the 'poisonous high fructose cola beverage'." Eli put in.

"Then, in our version, Juliet woke up to find Romeo still alive, "I stopped for I was suddenly overcome with sadness. I thought Eli loved me that day and he shot me down the next day. The kiss we shared was amazing.

Adam joined in with slight laughter at the irony, "You kissed, he died, and you shot yourself with a nerf gun. Kind of like now, you both end up hurt after you loved." Turning his voice to a serious tone, Adam said, "And now, Romeo and Juliet are apart. Still star crossed lovers, I see. Never a dull moment from the time you ran over her glasses."

I was saved by the bell as the ring got us out of class.

"We will continue this the next day," Ms. Daws said. I waved goodbye to my friends to talk to the teacher.

"Ms. Daws? I'm not going to be here tomorrow, I'm moving," I said, hoping she would understand.

"I know, Clare, that's why I chose that pointless activity. You and Eli needed to talk about what used to be. I saw the way you guys avoided some memories when you were talking. You guys love each other and it's obvious to everyone including you too, I don't think you should avoid it, even if it seems like it's the only option. Now, go and live the rest of your life, it's your decision how." Knowledge filled Ms. Daws gave me some more advice.

"Thank you, Ms. Daws," I walked out of the room with my shoes clicking and my hair swaying. I don't think that we will be together though. I'm not coming back soon, so I shouldn't attach any strings.

xXx

"I am so excited, Clare!" my best friend squealed in delight after school had passed and we got the stuff needed from her house. Opening the door to my house, she said, "I can't wait. You are going to look fabulous!"

**~ A/N good old reliable Ms. Daws. Pay attention to what she says cause that is going to be a huge part of it. I will update soon, I promise. The next chapter will be the party and Eli acting… well, you will have to wait and see. Thanks again to DreamDark. I love you! –MG.**


	7. AUTHORS NOTE PLEASE READ

**** AUTHORS NOTE- ok so I'm sorry that I haven't been updating recently, I have no inspiration for any other chapters. I need some good inspiration and soon! I will listen to all and choose a few. After I chose the best I will dedicate the chapter to you! **

** The only catch is that you have to sign in when you review on this chapter. if you don't I can't choose your idea. I am stuck in a serious rut. **

** Love- madam goldsworthy**


End file.
